How to grow your wings

This is a story about growth.

Like all growing pains, it is far from a pleasant experience.

Everyone talks about the caterpillar’s transformation as if its some magickal overnight process.

Welp, it ain’t.

It takes time to grow your wings.

It takes gestation. The decomposition of an old life to the point at which there is no going back to who you once were.

Like the caterpillar when you decide to embark on this journey, expect the unexpected.

You will have to be completely vulnerable with yourself to take on this process of metamorphosis.

There are times where the pain of your decomposing body might be so intolerable that you want to break free. Yet I beg you to be patient with the process for when the time is right, you will know.

Allow the process to take hold, even though the discomfort. Allow your caterpillar self to decompose, digest, and turn to a puddle of goo.

It sounds a lot like death right, and in a way it kind of is.

In this state of sheer vulnerability, the caterpillar can’t revert to its former self. It has embraced its change; it has embraced its fate.

It knows that it has to completely surrender to this state of transformation. Knowing that it has only the shell of its own construction to protect it from the elements at hand.

At any moment it could be plucked from its place of safety, and yet it remains confident that in the end the process will be worth the wait.

The caterpillar does not set a clock or write down a specific time for its transformation. It relies on the instincts of its own biology to know when to break free from its shell.

In the end its worth the wait, for if it survives the painful process of its own decomposition, it is given the most magickal gift of all.

Freedom from its own cage.

At first its wings are stiff, but within moments it instinctively knows how to fly.

So will you if you embrace this journey of transformation.

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Building your home

Build your home

It starts with a foundation.
Make sure it is sturdy.
Leave no cracks.
Smooth all surfaces.
Keep it safe.

Then you can move onto the walls.
Boundaries are necessary.
Otherwise you just walk into everything.
Do not use fiberboard, or materials that are cheap.
Know your worth.

Keep your roof free from debris.
Maintenance is necessary.
Otherwise the shingles will rot.
Keep your shelter weather resistant, so it will not blow over at the slightest breeze.
Or even in a downpour.

Caged Thoughts

Caged Thoughts

Grief is healthy.
I must remind myself of this sometimes.
Ha! Maybe twice a day, some days.
Yet that is part of the process of healing.
I must remind myself that it is human to shed tears.

To grieve over the end of a relationship, the death of a friend, health issues, or for any reason in general is a normal human experience.
Why have we learned to shun such an emotion?
Because it is unpleasant…
Is suffering not unpleasant?
Is pain not unpleasant?

The result of shoving or dismissing grief is agony, and I often wonder why I would ever choose to stuff my grief into Pandora’s box.
If you ignore grief, you dehumanize the process.
The result is you are damning yourself to a lifetime of suffering.
I am not saying to carry around your past.
I am however, suggesting that you learn from it.

Let the past be a guide.
Let her speak to you.
Let grief be a ritual, one worth honoring.
So, you do not go through the cycle on repeat.
Give yourself the time and respect to grieve whatever you are going thorough.

-Soren Johnsen

Mind, body, and soul

Mind, body, and soul

Mind

Reflection in the mirror.

Distorted and unclear.

Warped, twisted, derived of fear.

Body

Sweat, blood, and tears.

Pushing away the fears.

Rejuvenating the years… of uncertainty.

Soul

The act of love is selfish in its entirety.

Yet to love oneself is a necessity.

If you are to grow.

Dreams

Although we are worlds apart…

At night do we not gaze upon the same moon?

Come daybreak do we not feel the warmth of the same sun?

Growth

In order to grow, one must venture out on their own.

They must not fear being alone.

For it is in these times of trial that evolution takes place.

-Soren Johnsen