It starts with a foundation. Make sure it is sturdy. Leave no cracks. Smooth all surfaces. Keep it safe.
Then you can move onto the walls. Boundaries are necessary. Otherwise you just walk into everything. Do not use fiberboard, or materials that are cheap. Know your worth.
Keep your roof free from debris. Maintenance is necessary. Otherwise the shingles will rot. Keep your shelter weather resistant, so it will not blow over at the slightest breeze. Or even in a downpour.
Grief is healthy. I must remind myself of this sometimes. Ha! Maybe twice a day, some days. Yet that is part of the process of healing. I must remind myself that it is human to shed tears.
To grieve over the end of a relationship, the death of a friend, health issues, or for any reason in general is a normal human experience. Why have we learned to shun such an emotion? Because it is unpleasant… Is suffering not unpleasant? Is pain not unpleasant?
The result of shoving or dismissing grief is agony, and I often wonder why I would ever choose to stuff my grief into Pandora’s box. If you ignore grief, you dehumanize the process. The result is you are damning yourself to a lifetime of suffering. I am not saying to carry around your past. I am however, suggesting that you learn from it.
Let the past be a guide. Let her speak to you. Let grief be a ritual, one worth honoring. So, you do not go through the cycle on repeat. Give yourself the time and respect to grieve whatever you are going thorough.